


I don't know what's waiting after death, but after this road trip all i have waiting is a shower

by Frog_that_writes



Series: The Dead Kids (oops! it's a series!) [1]
Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/F, Humor, I describe what the after life was like for adaine and riz, Light Angst, Post Season 2 Finale, Pre Epilogue, They Die But They Get Better, and then gets more humorous, because it's sleepy teens being dumb, fairly riz centric, i usually wouldn't tag it but its kind of not resolved so?, idk this starts out angsty, idl what to tag this as, im riz trash, takes place on their way home, this is pretty found family but not enough to tag it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:41:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23646343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frog_that_writes/pseuds/Frog_that_writes
Summary: A bunch of gross sweaty teenagers lay on top of each other and talk about their trauma and the after life. It's surprisingly therapeutic.
Relationships: Kristen Applebees/Tracker O'Shaughnessey, The Bad Kids - Relationship
Series: The Dead Kids (oops! it's a series!) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1707871
Comments: 8
Kudos: 124





	I don't know what's waiting after death, but after this road trip all i have waiting is a shower

When Riz realized he was dying, the blast coming his way, the magic blowing him backwards with force, his mind screaming  _ do something, this can't be the end,  _ in that split second he was aware of what was happening, he expected to wake up back in hell. What was he, if not a liar, a murderer, and a thief? There was a checklist for hell and he ticked every box, with the same rushed perfectionism he displayed towards everything in life. 

Sure he said he did it for  _ good,  _ that he wanted to  _ help people  _ and  _ solve mysteries,  _ but, gun to his head, did he really think every action he had ever taken was fully necessary? That he never went too far in the name of a case? That he could really justify every action he's ever taken?

It was a lot to think in the solitary second between seeing the attack headed towards him and feeling his life slipping away, and it wasn't exactly what he expected in terms of his life flashing before his eyes, but if was his last thoughts. That he was going to Hell. 

And then he was proven wrong, but he didn't go to Heaven either.

It was blurry, when he came back, chest pounding with the force of a bass and lesbians flirting over his head. But he remembered there being nothing. It would be an exaggeration to even say it was black, because there was well and truly  _ nothing.  _ It was a void made of nothing, and in a way that meant it was made of everything, in its most absent form, and he didn't know how he could put it into words, because it was  _ death.  _ How could he describe feeling so, so lonely, with no knowledge of what the word lonely meant or the concept of other beings existing. How could he describe feeling cold when he had no body, when he felt nothing because nothing existed? 

Was it purgatory? Had his good intentions and his generally positive ends almost justified his means? 

Or maybe he just wasn't dead for long enough. Maybe the higher powers were still debating where to send him. Maybe that was a waiting room. 

But that didn't matter, because he was awake and two wonderful lesbians were pausing from their flirting long enough to save him (not that he thought his abilities in a fight ranked lower than the need to get your kisses in, but still, it was nice, to realize that even in the midst of panic and what-could-be-last kisses he was still brought back to life gasping and shaking and  _ smiling)  _ and then there was a burning pain in his ribs and a terrible sense of vertigo, and he was gone. 

This time it was black.

And then he was back, once more, with burning lips on his cheeks and the knowledge that that was only his pain tolerance failing him and not death. He was just unconscious. But he could repress and compartmentalize later, because this bitch that killed his dad and hurt his friends was going  _ the fuck down.  _ Kalina never stood a chance, really. She should know better than angering a goblin, especially one raised by Pok and Sklonda. 

Then they were done, they were going home, the crown retrieved and their grades secured and the Nightmare King actually The Night Goddex; Cassandra, copying Kristen's style and helping them. And that was fine. And that was good. Because killing was something anyone could do, Riz supposed, but it seems like the Bad Kids had a special talent for doing more than that. They certainly didn’t shy away from murder, but as this eighty foot tall deity looked down at them and smiled, teeth as white as stars in the distance and eyes as black as the sky surrounding them, it wasn’t the murdering that felt important. 

It felt strange to be riding back in the van after everything. A little anticlimactic, really. The journey that had taken them a week there was going to take three days back, assuming no one got kidnapped again in the meantime. They were going to be home soon, as there was an endless supply of talk between the whole group of what they would be doing first. The most common agreement seemed to be taking a shower, accompanied by wistful sighs at the thought of feeling truly clean and rested and well fed for the first time in over a week. Riz couldn’t remember the exact number of bathrooms Mordred Manor possessed, but he hoped for the sake of the looks the inhabitants of said home were throwing at each other that it was a lot. 

They were in the room that branched off into a few smaller rooms with beds, the rooms people usually slept in. Tracker had recast the moon haven, carefully taking the time to visualize the right amount of room for the party and all the extras they had picked up along the way. No one was using the rooms, barring Sandralynn and Gilear, who seemed content to give them space with the knowledge that Gorthalax was driving and could keep an eye on them.

Instead, they were half piled on top of each other, just sprawling bodies in a large pile of blankets and pillows that must have been created by magic. They were smelly gross teenagers desperately in need of a change of clothes, but they layed together regardless. It was, frankly, a little more physical contact than Riz was usually comfortable with, but it had been a long week and he had just died, and he was comfortable with his head on Fabian’s legs and Adaine’s arm on his chest. 

They talked, every once in a while. Another declaration of what they would be doing when they got home. How much they were going to cherish their phone and their bed. Scattered laughter at the memory of things that had happened since the left. Not enough to really be called conversations, just talking at the roof of the van and possibly getting a response. It was far from silent, but it was still so alien-ly quiet for the Bad Kids. Teenagers who could murder and die and create gods from nightmares. 

“Dying was a lot different the second time,” Kristen said eventually. Ragh and Tracker snored, and those awake made noises to show they were listening.

“It was a lot more open world. I feel like the first time I was in a point and click, but today- yesterday?- I was in like, Minecraft. Or maybe Skyrim? I don’t know, there weren't any blocks.”

“Any sharp leaves?” Gorgug asked. Riz couldn’t see him, but the way he spoke- careful, quiet- sounded as though someone was leaning on his chest. Maybe that’s where Ragh was.

“Nope,” Kristen said, popping the p. “Though, I guess there were trees, but I didn’t touch the leaves. Maybe they were sharp.”

Gorgug hummed. Fabian joined the group of voices snoring. 

“What about you guys?” Kristen asked eventually. Adaine made a quiet questioning noise, clearly half-way to trancing herself. “Newest members of the ‘I died’ club, right? We’re comparing notes. Gonna work some shit out with Cassandra, write a few tenants.”

“Oh,” The wizard yawned. “I talked with the previous Elven Oracles. It was a rather short conversation. Not very interesting, in the grand scheme of things. They did reassure me that I had to be dead for a full day before the position chose someone else to pass on to. But it would have been pretty funny if my dad decided to kill me to get the position to pass on but I killed him before it happened, right?”

Alewyn, from where she sat up against the wall, legs crisis crossed in front of her, just outside of the mess that could only be called a cuddle pile, let out a noise that seemed to convey the idea that she simultaneously found the idea far too amusing and not at all funny. Adaine laughed. 

“Where were you when-” Gorgug asked before Ragh made a noise like he was going to wake up. He cut himself off.

“It was like a large theater,” Adaine explained, clearly catching his meaning anyways. “There was a screen showing what was going on in the fight in the real world, and we were just sitting around in chairs watching and talking. The seventh oracle told me to tell you that she found your Kalina impression extremely funny Fig, by the way.”

“Glad someone still understands comedy,” Fig grunted. Riz felt shifting, so maybe that was actually Fig’s arm on his chest. He looked down and, yup, red-hued pink skin rather than brown, complete with terribly chipped black polish. You would think he would have realized from the warmth Fig seemed to constantly give off these days, but then again, the entire mass of bodies surrounded him was entirely too hot to be completely comfortable anyways. 

“Riz?” Kristen asked. “Tell us the story so we can indoctrinate you. I’m thinking of making t-shirts.”

“Don’t do that,” Riz said quickly, surprised by how tired he sounded. It made sense, the fatigue in everyone’s voices reflected back on him, but he hadn’t truly realized how much he was looking forward to sleep until this moment. “I don’t know, it was- weird.”

“It was death,” Kristen snorted.

“Yeah but, I was expecting, I don’t know, hell? Or maybe to be back in heaven with my dad, which would have been cool. I’ve been to two afterlives and somehow managed to end up somewhere completely different.”

“Tell me about it,” Kristen groaned. “Can’t the gods pick something and stick with it? I’m trying to form a religion here, and people are going to want answers- Oh, shit, no they won’t. Goddex of unknown, right I remember now. Guess I shouldn't try to solve the after life after all.”

“Tell us about it anyways,” Gorgug suggested. “Maybe one day we’ll have figured out every possible outcome and we can all become like- the new gods of death. The Dead Kids.” Riz laughed at that, and so did a few of the people scattered through the pile, though some of their voices were so muffled with sleep he couldn’t tell who they were. Either Adaine’s voice got a lot deeper when she was on the verge of trancing, or Tracker had been woken up by their conversation.

“It was nothing, I guess,” he started, staring at the ceiling. “Not complete black or anything, but like the concept of everything didn’t exist. So black wasn’t real. And I didn’t exist, but I did. At least I didn’t end up in Maglubiyet’s army,” he snorted. 

"Isn't he that super scary intense goblin god?"

"Yeah, he's not worshiped a lot anymore I think. Just makes me more glad I didn't end up with him. Though the nothing wasn't super pleasant either."

“Maybe that’s some sort of atheist thing,” Kristen mused.

“I’m kind of hoping it was a waiting room.”

“Nah, they just knew better than to release you into any afterlife. You would fuck shit up.”

“And Bill hasn’t?”

“Leave my papa out of this,” Fabian grumbled sleepily. 

“We got to investigate all angles,” Kristen protested. “Maybe we can start doing interviews of dead people. If I promise to make sure I have  _ revivify _ stocked, can I kill you guys for research?”

“Fucking go for it,” Fig shrugged. She waved her arm slightly before roughly dropped it back down onto Riz, causing him to let out a grunt. “Why the hell not. Death gang.”

“Death gang!” They all cheered sleepily, though it sounded more like vague gibberish from half the group. 

“You kids all right?” Gorthalax called. 

“Mhm,” Fig replied. There was no response. 

“I can’t believe I haven’t changed my clothes in so long,” Riz said eventually.

“God, mood,” Fig groaned. “I had shit packed and everything, I was going to look so cool. But no, we had to get kidnapped and forced to leave all our shit behind. I’m going to burn these clothes. Riz, do you want to burn your clothes?”

“I can't I’m poor,” Riz laughed. “Shit, I’m poor again. Hey, you guys are poor now too.”

“S’t up,” Fabian groaned. Riz didn’t bother twisting enough to see what his face was buried into. 

“I’m burning your hat,” Gorgug demanded.

“Why do you guys keep talking about my hat? Why is my hair hot? I haven’t washed it in so long. I think I have lice.”

“Please do not say that while your head is on my body,” Fabian said. 

“We should call Jawbone when we get close and tell him to just have a bunch of hoses ready,” Tracker suggested. Oh, so she was awake. “I think we need to be decontaminated before we’re allowed in a building.”

“Let’s just prep all the healing and purifying spells we know and go ham when we wake up babe,” Kristen suggested. “I wonder if  _ purify food or drink _ would work if I pretended to be a cannibal hard enough.”

“No weird illusion stuff until like, June,” Gorgug commanded. “If I see another illusion I’m going to flip my shit.”

“Our shows are going to be fucking lame,” Fig scoffed.

“I’m an abjuration wizard,” Alewyen complained lightly. Riz was surprised she was still up, though he understood the feeling of spending so long awake it was almost like you forgot how to sleep- or, in her case, trance. 

“Fine, no weird cannibal illusions. Everything else is fine but you’re on thin ice.”

“Dudes, go to sleep,” Ragh complained. “We’ve had a bummer of a spring break.”

“‘Wasn’t so bad,” Riz grunted. “Weird amount of kidnappings though, will admit. A statistically improbable amount.”

“That sounded like math. And I know I’m not a bully anymore, but if I hear any math in the next six hours I will kick someone’s ass. Possibly my own. Haven’t decided yet.”

“Noted.”

When they got home a few days later, no unexpected stops having delayed their trip, they all pretended not to notice their guardian’s curled noses when they dived in for hugs. They were finally back home, and nothing could ruin that. 

Riz had never been so happy to wash his hair in his life. 

**Author's Note:**

> this was originally going to be a very different story but i like the outcome lmao
> 
> please comment and kudo if you enjoyed! also, i have like 10 other d20 fics you should feel free to check out lol


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